Your first reaction is almost never the one you would have chosen. You have been apologizing for it since you were a kid.
What it looks like in a life
You snap and then feel awful, sometimes inside the same minute. Hunger, tiredness and being ignored all come out as anger. You were probably a reactive child in a house with no room for it, so you learned to swallow it, and swallowing costs you sleep, patience and the lining of your stomach. In relationships you go from fine to done with no visible middle. You start things hot and quit when the feeling changes. You are hard on yourself in a way that sounds like discipline and works like a fight you are having with your own body.
The gift
Nobody develops actual self-control without something to control. You have it, you built it, and it holds under pressure that flattens people who were never tested. You also feel your anger clearly, and clean anger is information: it tells you where a line got crossed. You defend people who cannot defend themselves, because you know what it costs them.
The friction
The loop is old and it runs fast. Hurt becomes anger, anger becomes an outburst or a shutdown, the shutdown becomes guilt, and the guilt gets swallowed until the next trigger. You go looking for a fight when what you need is rest. You push away the exact person you wanted closer, then read their distance as proof you were right.
The esoteric layer
Bailey's esoteric astrology gives Mars a line that fits this aspect exactly: Warrior I am, and from the battle I emerge triumphant. In that system Mars is the desire nature at war with itself, and the war is the point rather than an accident. The square is called the cross of incarnation, spirit pinned into matter, and the same tradition says the crosses indicate process and points of crisis. Read that plainly. The hard aspect is where the work happens, and this one is the engine of a working chart.
Where this goes
The signs and houses these two occupy say what sets the loop off and where it fires, and the pattern almost always predates you. A therapeutic astrology session is built for exactly that work.
Related
See it in your own chart
Cast your chart free and read this placement next to everything else you carry.